Christians are straight up FREAKS
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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