he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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