thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she peed on how many people?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
