I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize