i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
