Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
