i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
