i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize