No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
