i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
