we're blogging at a bar
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
