So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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