I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
