I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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