i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
