would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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