I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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