don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
