tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
