just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
