SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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