You just made me feel so damn special
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize