I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
