But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
