He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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