I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
