It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
