5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
