So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
