My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
