i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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