I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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