She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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