Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
