Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
