where does the pee come out of this thing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
