Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
