The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize