Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
