She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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