You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
