Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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