If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
