i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
