Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
