Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
