We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
