I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
