Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
