If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I am one with the molecules
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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