i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
