I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
