just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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