Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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