i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
