I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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