They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
