I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
