I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
farters have to be the big spoon...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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