stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
