i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Houston, we have a squirter
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
